Creepers

Alright, so my last post wasn't actually titled, "The Summer from Hades or Why I Shouldn't Sign Up For 10 Hour Workdays" but it was essentially discussing that topic, so I'm going to leave it as it is.

Now, I was planning on posting maybe once a week, but last night was quite an adventure in creepy guys, so I thought I'd share the excitement. I don't know what it is about me and the creepers, but they always come in threes. The last adventure I had involved three overly friendly men at a Greyhound station in Dallas. Last night I was at the Lakewood Bar and Grill for my friend Michael's band, Ten Can Riot (totally awesome, by the way), and the following creepers were involved:

Creeper #1: The most innocent of the three, he simply brushed my back with his hand as he was leaving the restroom (gross) and then proceeded to stare at me as he walked past with huge, googly eyes. Alright, then.

Creeper #2: He wasn't totally creeping, he was just being a little too flirtatious considering he was the bassist in Michael's band and has a live-in girlfriend, but he kept talking about how I was underage (I am so sick of those big black Xs on the backs of my hands) and when I was showing off the bruises on the back of my thigh to Cassie he commented on them and said, "Wait, let me see those thigh bruises again?" And sort of wiggled his eyebrows/winked at me. Classy.

Creeper #3: Big surprise that they got worse as the night progressed, but the third and final encounter occurred as I was sitting on the curb outside the bar calculating my finances (yes, really) with my legs kind of stretched out in front of me. I noticed these three guys walking towards me out of the corner of my eye and just glanced at them by instinct. They were all wearing polos, khaki shorts and Sperry's or flip flops and old enough to be my father, so I ignored them and looked back down, figuring they wouldn't say anything to me. Then, of course, one of them walked up to me.

"Hey, Gazelle girl!" He was standing, oh, a foot away from me leaning over with his face shoved into my personal bubble as he said this.

"Uh, Gazelle girl?"

"Yeah, girl! You've got such long legs! You're like, a giraffe or something." Cassie was standing next to me watching all of this happen and decided to chime in at this point.

"Wouldn't that be her neck?"

"Well, like, she's just got such long legs, you know?" Cassie snorted.

He was probably put off by Cassie's interruption, so he started walking away but as he moved behind me he ran his fingers through my ponytail and kind of whispered, "I mean, I was just trying to be nice."

I could tell he was rather drunk and I could see Michael looking at him like he'd kick his ass if he tried anything, so I wasn't really worried about it and just said, "Well, thank you."

At this point, I should make it known that this kind of creep-fest is not a rare occurrence and the only guys that hit on me are men significantly older than me, drunk and sometimes with less teeth than I would like to see in a prospective significant other. Oh, the quality men in my life.